Well-Turned, or Not

The "pins" that started it all

The “pins” that started it all

Now, don’t laugh but it was my Mom who, at an early age, led me to appreciate the female leg.  Actually, occasionally she would see a gifted young woman and say to herself in an offhand way, “Look at the hind-parts on that child”.  Now, there I was, a nosy, young kid, I’d always ask her what she said.  To which, she’d always reply, “Nothing”.  It’s ok; like most children, I was listening.  Better still, I was watching.   

The first million dollar pins belonged to 20th Century Fox star, Betty Grable.  Since then, we’ve seen others do likewise including Rihanna who assured hers for $1 million and Heidi Klum $2 million.  Jamie Lee-Curtis, who has a nice pair if I may, indemnified hers for $2.8 million and Tina Turner has her bejeweled beauties underwritten for $3.2 million.  Truthfully though, it’s the guys who’re the real prima-donnas.

According to Lloyd’s of London Rudolph Nureyev insured his tighted gams for $34,000, a tidy sum for the time then.  Riverdance Michael Flatley has his livelihood protected against $40 million.  Athletes are not above it all; Soccer players Dennis Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo have each covered their trophies to the tune of £100m ($70mill) and $144 million, respectively.

Asses and Elbows

Other protected parts include such iconic organs as the nose of Jimmie Durante which was covered for $50,000.  Bette Davis insured her tiny waist for $28,000 and while doing his own stunts, Donald Craig insured his body for $9.5 million during the filming of Quantum of Solace. But the fun really begins when you start to look at the other fun areas of the body.  Yes, I know; I said fun twice.

Breasts were given their due: Madonna has her points protected to $2 million as well as Dolly Parton ($600k and a bargain at that!) and Holly Madison ($1m) but it was the biggest muscle on the human body that got the most attention.  Jennifer Lopez has insured her butt for $300 million dollars.  Let’s hear it for free enterprise; kind of makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it?

This brings me to Taylor Swift who today reportedly insured her legs for $40 million dollars.

With all of these well-turned ankles and other things walking about, what can I say?  I wasn’t the insurance adjuster.

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