Is there a particular part of the country I should be going to in order to contract this Affluenza? Truthfully, I didn’t even know it existed until a couple of hours ago, so I’m not too up on what I should be doing in order to stay clear of it. Thing is, from the way it sounds, I don’t think I want to stay clear of it, rather I would die for a case of it. In fact, we all should be so lucky as to have had a case or two of Affluenza in our lives.
Finally, we have a disease that doesn’t kill us. It rewards us; providing us with a virtually unlimited access to the good life. Like an inoculation, it affords us protection from the rigorous stresses of modern society and gives us peace of mind, knowing that it’s always there, like your first tetanus shot, to shield you from any perceived harm.
Sounds great, I know but there’s always a down side.
I mean, now that we have a new disease, there has to be a new drug. It’ll go through testing before being made available for consumers. Hopefully such delays will give more and more of us an opportunity to contract the alement. But eventually it’ll go public and the expected adverse reactions will occur. After which, we’ll be subjected to television commercials soliciting attorney services for anyone who’d contracted Affluenza and taken the drug whatever and had afterwards almost died.
I can see it coming already. We’re man and we know how to louse up a good thing.